Garage Sale-ing
Warning: If you've had it UP TO HERE with Ava's poop stories you might just want to skip over this one as there will be multiple references to smelly, slimy, multicolored, chunky yet still loose, wretched, completely awful butt productions. Now that I'm free from potentially grossing anyone out, let me get started.
Picture this.... It's Saturday morning. All of us were up early enough that we could leave the house , newspaper garage sale section in hand, by 8 AM (for those of you that don't have a strange compulsion to owning other people's things that they can't even stand to own anymore, this is the customary garage sale opening time). We were set. We had a plan of attack. We weren't going to bother going to garage sale listings one by one. No, we didn't have time for that for we had what I will refer to as "the motherload". There were at least a dozen Neighborhood Garage Sales in our general area! For us, this is like Christmas in June. I didn't check, but I'm sure our hearts were beating a little faster as we started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. Deals would be our drug and we had $35 burning a hole in our pockets. You will understand later when I tell you what we purchased.
For now though, lets get to what you've all been waiting for.... yet another of Ava's Antics. As a little background info, I'll tell you that Ava was screaming her head off on Friday night for what reason we were not sure. She has been dealing with constipation lately, so its possible she was constipated. She was having these gurgling noises in her belly long after feeding, so its possible she had gas. It's also possible she was mad because she still wasn't feeling 100% with respect to her cold and was attempting to hit her previous high note from when she was in a more healthy condition. Regardless, it was clear that she was in pain and, as you can imagine, this was hard for Doni and I to have to experience. We started doing everything we could. First, we gave her some Mylicon for her gas issues. Next, we gave her a glycerin suppository laxative to clear out any fecaliths (literally means "poop stones"; an exaggeration, but gets the point across). To make sure we were really covering all the bases we also gave her a small dose of an oral laxative. A short time and a little sleeping incline arrangement later and Ava was out like a light. This girl was TIRED. She hadn't been sleeping well for the previous several days and she ended up sleeping straight through from 11PM Friday till 7AM Saturday. Doni did feed her around 5AM-ish, but Ava slept the entire time she was drinking. While Ava had made a little mess in her diaper Saturday morning, it was nothing like what we were expecting after a suppository and laxative. She had only pooped a little bit! What's the deal with that? So anyway, that's the background and let's get back to garage sale-ing.....
We had made it through our first neighborhood and were just finishing up our second neighborhood when we smelled something that wasn't quite right emanating from the back seat. If Sparky had been in the car we may have dismissed it as one of his farts because this dog's farts can smell like a skunks spray. However, since we do not take our dogs garage sale-ing, the smell had to have been emanating from our precious little child's rear end. We knew what we had to do, so I got Ava out of her carseat while Doni laid out a portable changing pad and got the diaper and wipes ready. Despite our supplies, we were nowhere near ready for the onslaught of feces that was in our near future.
Doni laid Ava down, unsnapped her onesie, and undid Ava's diaper. Let me start out by saying that Huggies makes a very fine product in that their diaper held everything that Ava had put out up until this point. This stuff was EVERYWHERE! It was all over her butt, on the upper-inside of her legs, all over her frontal area, and all up in her business! Let me remind you that Ava is laying on a small, portable changing pad on the backseat of our car. Doni starts pulling and using wipes like there's a fire in Ava's diaper and Doni's trying to put it out by smothering it. This is by no means a criticism because this piece of work obviously needed its fair share of wipes. In fact, if I had been the lucky one changing Ava I probably would have borrowed someone's hose and sprayed her down instead of wasting the entire tree of wipes that I would have used.
In Ava's typical pooping technique, she waited for her bottom to be cleaned before adding a little more to the brew. It was like a game of ping-pong the way that Doni would wipe, then Ava would poop some more, Doni would wipe, Ava would poop some more. It went back and forth like this several times. In the excitement of it all Ava got a little zealous and ended up getting poop not only in her diaper, but also on her onesie, changing pad, and a dab on the back seat of the car. This car is barely a month old and here she is pooping on it. When she gets older we're going to have to ingrain into her the value of a dollar. Being the prepared parents that we were, we had a small plastic bag that we could put the messy onesie, dirty diaper, and 20-some wipes into. However, not being forewarned that Ava was going to add yet another experience we will later look back on and laugh at, we had not brought a change of clothes for Ava. And, wouldn't you believe it, none of our garage sale stops had been selling any baby clothes. We had to interrupt our garage sale-ing with a brief trip to Target. With the purchase of a onesie, a pacifier (which we had also brilliantly left at home), and some more wipes for our rapidly diminishing supply, we were on our way.
It turned out to be a pretty productive day with some great deals. Here are some examples:
Picture this.... It's Saturday morning. All of us were up early enough that we could leave the house , newspaper garage sale section in hand, by 8 AM (for those of you that don't have a strange compulsion to owning other people's things that they can't even stand to own anymore, this is the customary garage sale opening time). We were set. We had a plan of attack. We weren't going to bother going to garage sale listings one by one. No, we didn't have time for that for we had what I will refer to as "the motherload". There were at least a dozen Neighborhood Garage Sales in our general area! For us, this is like Christmas in June. I didn't check, but I'm sure our hearts were beating a little faster as we started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. Deals would be our drug and we had $35 burning a hole in our pockets. You will understand later when I tell you what we purchased.
For now though, lets get to what you've all been waiting for.... yet another of Ava's Antics. As a little background info, I'll tell you that Ava was screaming her head off on Friday night for what reason we were not sure. She has been dealing with constipation lately, so its possible she was constipated. She was having these gurgling noises in her belly long after feeding, so its possible she had gas. It's also possible she was mad because she still wasn't feeling 100% with respect to her cold and was attempting to hit her previous high note from when she was in a more healthy condition. Regardless, it was clear that she was in pain and, as you can imagine, this was hard for Doni and I to have to experience. We started doing everything we could. First, we gave her some Mylicon for her gas issues. Next, we gave her a glycerin suppository laxative to clear out any fecaliths (literally means "poop stones"; an exaggeration, but gets the point across). To make sure we were really covering all the bases we also gave her a small dose of an oral laxative. A short time and a little sleeping incline arrangement later and Ava was out like a light. This girl was TIRED. She hadn't been sleeping well for the previous several days and she ended up sleeping straight through from 11PM Friday till 7AM Saturday. Doni did feed her around 5AM-ish, but Ava slept the entire time she was drinking. While Ava had made a little mess in her diaper Saturday morning, it was nothing like what we were expecting after a suppository and laxative. She had only pooped a little bit! What's the deal with that? So anyway, that's the background and let's get back to garage sale-ing.....
We had made it through our first neighborhood and were just finishing up our second neighborhood when we smelled something that wasn't quite right emanating from the back seat. If Sparky had been in the car we may have dismissed it as one of his farts because this dog's farts can smell like a skunks spray. However, since we do not take our dogs garage sale-ing, the smell had to have been emanating from our precious little child's rear end. We knew what we had to do, so I got Ava out of her carseat while Doni laid out a portable changing pad and got the diaper and wipes ready. Despite our supplies, we were nowhere near ready for the onslaught of feces that was in our near future.
Doni laid Ava down, unsnapped her onesie, and undid Ava's diaper. Let me start out by saying that Huggies makes a very fine product in that their diaper held everything that Ava had put out up until this point. This stuff was EVERYWHERE! It was all over her butt, on the upper-inside of her legs, all over her frontal area, and all up in her business! Let me remind you that Ava is laying on a small, portable changing pad on the backseat of our car. Doni starts pulling and using wipes like there's a fire in Ava's diaper and Doni's trying to put it out by smothering it. This is by no means a criticism because this piece of work obviously needed its fair share of wipes. In fact, if I had been the lucky one changing Ava I probably would have borrowed someone's hose and sprayed her down instead of wasting the entire tree of wipes that I would have used.
In Ava's typical pooping technique, she waited for her bottom to be cleaned before adding a little more to the brew. It was like a game of ping-pong the way that Doni would wipe, then Ava would poop some more, Doni would wipe, Ava would poop some more. It went back and forth like this several times. In the excitement of it all Ava got a little zealous and ended up getting poop not only in her diaper, but also on her onesie, changing pad, and a dab on the back seat of the car. This car is barely a month old and here she is pooping on it. When she gets older we're going to have to ingrain into her the value of a dollar. Being the prepared parents that we were, we had a small plastic bag that we could put the messy onesie, dirty diaper, and 20-some wipes into. However, not being forewarned that Ava was going to add yet another experience we will later look back on and laugh at, we had not brought a change of clothes for Ava. And, wouldn't you believe it, none of our garage sale stops had been selling any baby clothes. We had to interrupt our garage sale-ing with a brief trip to Target. With the purchase of a onesie, a pacifier (which we had also brilliantly left at home), and some more wipes for our rapidly diminishing supply, we were on our way.
It turned out to be a pretty productive day with some great deals. Here are some examples:
- 1 Microwave (for a friend of ours) = $10
- 1 toy for Ava with balls that makes noise = $2
- 3 brand new (tags still on) outfits for Ava = total of $8
- Multiple books = $0.25-0.50 a piece
- 1 8 ft heavy duty rope w/ latch on one end = $0.75
posted by Jeremy @ 10:45 PM
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