Is that urine? Cause, it's not my-ine.

Tonight we went out to dinner with some friends at The Cheesecake Factory. Neither Doni, Ava, or I had ever been there before, but we had heard many good things about it. TCF did not disappoint. However, let me get to the highlight of the evening....

After dinner the three of us took a stroll around the mall and we bought several little things. As we were getting ready to leave, it was approaching 8 o' clock (Ava's bedtime). We figured this would work pretty well because she would fall asleep in the car on the way home and then we could just put her to bed upon arrival. To prevent having to wake Ava up to change her diaper when we got home, we decided to change her in the back seat of the car before leaving.

Now, it hasn't been typical winter weather in Indiana lately. Today's high was in the 50's. We didn't have a white Christmas, nor could we have since the temperature was above freezing. Being fairly mild, I didn't have a problem with changing Ava's diaper on the back seat, the car door open, and me standing outside doing my diaper duties.

If we would have been in an operating room, Doni would have taken the role of the scrub nurse, handing me the necessary wipes and diaper as needed. She had several bags in her hands in addition to the diaper bag, so I was running ahead of her in terms of supply and demand. Had I been thinking, I would have not made the critical mistake I was about to make.

What is the first rule of Diaper-Changing Club?
THERE IS NO DIAPER-CHANGING CLUB!?!?!
What is the second rule of Diaper-Changing Club?
Do not leave the baby's naked bottom unprotected for any longer than is absolutely necessary!

Ignoring the second rule of Diaper-Changing Club, I pulled Ava's used diaper out from under her before Doni handed me the new diaper. As I took the diaper from her and began to unfold it, I felt a whisp of cool breeze pass over my shoulder. My eyes followed it down to Ava's level. It flicked past her nether regions with a sense of purpose, as if to teach me a lesson. From places not to be described came a well-spring of yellowy body fluid. I practically dove to get the diaper under her, but my hands were not quite fast enough. Helpless, I watched her urine run down the crevices of the upholstery, pool, and seep into the fabric.

Not since Ava was several weeks old had she actually urinated WHILE being changed. Apparently all it takes is a burst of cool air to get the juices flowing. After we got home and put Ava to bed, I went back outside and began cleaning the seat. As I scrubbed, I imagined the classified ad we would place if we were trying to sell our vehicle......

Scary Santa

We took Ava to see Santa Claus in his little Santa Hut full of his little Santa Space Heaters in his little Santa Village (we get it... this is where Santa is). When we got there we weren't even sure if the jolly old man was there at the time. It could have been due to the fact that we came in the afternoon or because it was colder than Ava is tall in inches, but Santa's village was deserted. Once we got our free admission ticket with a "68" on it, we promptly made our way to the front of the non-existent line. Can you imagine? We were next! Go figure! Child 67 was probably there a good 16-18 hours ago. I felt a little weird as I knocked on Santa's hut's door. If he knows who's naughty or nice, shouldn't he know that there are two and a half statuesque popsicles slowly entering a deep freeze outside his hut? One of his 5'9" elves came to the rescue and opened the door.

Commence crying in 3..... 2.... 1...., originally uploaded by Ava's Antics.

There he was, in his cherry-red coated splendor, cautiously eyeing Ava as she cautiously eyed him back. Normally, you would think that Ava has never met a stranger, as she happily would let anyone hold her. This man was clearly not your average person though. He wore his glasses on the tip of his nose, wore a suit about three sizes too big, and had a beard that was probably continuous with his chest hair. The rest of us fondly know this man as Santa Claus, but you can imagine how it was intimidating for Ava. We took off her coat, sat her on his knee, and stepped back to shoot a picture. It was a good thing we did this as promptly as we had, because Ava took a look at Kris Kringle and put on the biggest pouty face you ever did see. Santa exclaimed "uh oh" and gave us a look that said "Get your child off of me, but have a Merry Christmas". Safe in our arms, Ava kept her eye on Santa till we left his hut.

Almost there, originally uploaded by Ava's Antics.

Luckily she had stayed still long enough for us to get a good picture. Now we can pretend her Santa incident never happened. We have photographic proof to show they got along fine right? At least that's our story until she's twenty and wonders why she always gets twitchy around Santa Claus.

Christmas and Mini-Golf

Possessed by Santa's Hat, originally uploaded by Ava's Antics.

Last Saturday we went to Lowe's and bought a Christmas tree (yeah, not the same as a tree farm where you cut your own, but it's RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET). When we got home it was time for Ava to take her nap, so we laid her down while we got down to some tree-raisin'. When Ava woke up and recovered from her post-sleep drunken stupor (she usually takes 20-30 seconds to boot up), I brought her out into the living room. She was locked onto that Christmas tree like Maverick on a Mig fighter jet. She said some "oohs" and "aahs" (then again that's about all she says) as she tried to figure out how this tree had suddenly grown in our living room over the two hours she had been sleeping. And neh, not just a tree, but a glowing, decorated tree with a Santa perched atop it. She was duly impressed.

"Just me and the dishes", originally uploaded by Ava's Antics.

This morning I was feeding Ava her breakfast oatmeal and she started making these open-mouthed chewing motions. This wouldn't really be a big deal except that she wasn't really doing this before. I'm not sure how much chewing you can accomplish with two front teeth and a good set of gums, but she was giving it a good infant try. Her antics did complicate her feeding though. It was not unlike the miniature golf hole where the windmill blocks a tunnel intermittently. Oatmeal delivery had to be timed precisely with the gum-flapping or there was sure to be a mess. Luckily, my video game honed hand-eye coordination prevailed and I got 'er done.

Where's Ava?, originally uploaded by Ava's Antics.